Gravestone Flowers
by Twilight of Grace
Summary: [Pain encompassing, Pain unrelenting] Kairi struggles to get over Sora's death, and Riku struggles to keep her sane. [Oneshot Songfic RikuxKairi SoraxKairi]


**Author's Note: **Well, it has been a LONG time since I did a oneshot, and I'm coming back with another one of my uberly depressing RiKais o.o Wow, bet none of you saw that one coming xD Seriously though, I really liked this one, its a songfic to System of a Down's Soldier Side, a song I've been wanting to write a fanfic to for over a year. I really hope you all enjoy this, as it was a BLAST to write, no matter how depressing it is o.o

* * *

A tear rolled down Kairi's cheek as she ran her hand over the rough texture of a tombstone. It was the color of granite, firm and strong. The tiny obelisk was lavishly ecorated with a picture of two angels, one playing a horn, one playing a trumpet. She ran her fingers over these pictures, then traced out the words "A Dearly Departed Friend and Son". Tears came hasrder as she drew her hand away from the final wording on the tombstone, the word's seeming painful to touch.

**Sora**

**1988-2006

* * *

**

_Dead men lying on the bottom of their graves_

_Wondering when Savior comes_

_Is he gonna be saved_

_Maybe you're a sinner into your alternate life_

_Maybe you're a joker_

_Maybe you deserved to die.

* * *

_

Tears fell freely from her eyes now as she curled up, her chest almost touching her knees as she knelt on the ground. She raised her fist and brought it down hard on the soft ground over Sora's empty grave, the mud making a squishing sound as it swallowed up a bit of her hand. News of Sora's death had reached them weeks ago, but there had never been a body recovered.

"Couldn't even give him a decent funeral…" she sobbed quietly, not noticing the new presence as it moved up beside her.

"Kairi…come home. It's been two days now…" Riku knelt down beside the crying girl, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. She leaned into him as she started sobbing softer, his cool resolve seeming to freeze her emotions in place. She brought her eyes up to meet the man who was dressed entirely in black, showing in his own way the feelings he couldn't express. Half a decade of fighting had made him cold to the world, but even he felt the loss of his close friend.

"I miss him too, Kai, but weeping here at his tombstone and wasting away to nothing isn't going to bring him back, and it certainly isn't how he'd want you to live your life," Kairi turned her head back to the tombstone, staring at the angels again as she nodded solemnly. Riku helped her stand up, then wrapped his arms around her and began to lead her away. She threw a glance back towards the grave, seeing a smiling sxteen year old boy waving at her, only to disappear as she blinked her eyes. She pressed her face against Riku's chest as the two walked out of the graveyard towards Riku's home.

* * *

_They were crying when their sons left_

_God is wearing black_

_He's gone so far to find no hope _

_He's never coming back_

_They were crying when their sons left_

_All young men must go_

_He's come so far to find no truth_

_He's never going home.

* * *

_

Riku opened the door to his house, walking in with one arm draped around Kairi, the other stuffing his keys into his pocket, then pulling the door shut behind them. He lead her through the short entrance hallway and into his living room, plopping Kairi down onto his couch.

"I'm going to get us something warm to drink," Riku said, bending over to look in Kairi's face and smiling hopefully at her. She nodded weakly as she stared at the wall, her eyes distant and empty. Riku sighed and stood up, heading off toward his kitchen.

Kairi continued to stare out the window, her mind racing so fast she couldn't pin any thoughts down. She felt numb, just as she always did around the silver-haired knight. He seemed to absorb her hurt into himself, and she felt as though it was possible to continue on whenever he was around. She put her forehead into her hands and tried to cry, but tears would not come. They seemed to have dried up on the walk over.

"Here you go," Riku handed her a coffee mug filled with hot cocoa as he sat down, steam rising from the surface of the fresh drink. "I made it with milk the way you like it," Riku said, chuckling nervously.

"Thank you…" Kairi spoke softly, her voice barely above a whisper. She sipped on the drink, the sensation of it burning refreshing her as it ran over her tongue and down her throat. She chuckled without thinking. "It's hot."

"That's the general idea behind hot cocoa," Riku said as he sat his cup down. "Though it could probably stand to be a bit cooler."

"Yeah," Kairi sat her cup down as well, next to Riku's own mug. The two sat in silence for a moment before Riku attempted to break the silence.

"Kai…I know yo—" Riku's sentence was cut short as Kairi placed her hand on his leg and preseed her lips against his. As she moved her face away, Riku stared at her in surprise. Afraid she had upset him, Kairi turned away and blushed, feeling foolish for what she had just done. Undaunted, Riku grabbed her chin and brought her face back to meet his own, pressing his lips against hers.

Kairi wrapped her arms around Riku's torso and pressed into him, lying on top of him as the two began to kiss passionately. He rubbed his hands on her back as they adjust to laying beside one another, Riku's back facing off the couch so that Kairi wouldn't fall off. Pulling away from the kiss, Riku stared into Kairi's eyes.

"Is this what you want?" He looked into Kairi's eyes as he brough a hand up to rub along the side of her face.

"I just want to forget…" Kairi said, pressing her lips to Riku's neck. He ran his fingers through her hair, a bittersweet look on his face. He had Kairi in his arms, but he couldn't help but feel like this should never have come to pass as the two began to kiss again, grabbing at one another in desperate longing.

* * *

_Young men standing on the top of their own graves_

_Wondering when Jesus comes_

_Are they gonna be saved_

_Cruelty to the winner,_

_Bishop tells the king his lies_

_Maybe you're a mourner _

_Maybe you deserve to die.

* * *

_

Kairi awoke to find herself still in Riku's arms. His chest was bare as was hers, the two laying on the couch, having fallen asleep in one another's arms after having decided to stop before going to far. Looking around, Kairi found her shirt lying near the couch. Turning back to Riku, she brushed some of his long hair out of the way and kissed his forehead before lifting up her arm to slip out of his grasp. Riku grunted but didn't wake up as Kairi slid her shirt back on, looking at the silver-haired soldier once more before slipping out of Riku's front door and into the night.

The air was frigid and biting tonight, the wind raising up over the ocean next to the small town, blowing through her clothing with ease, causing Kairi to grab at her sides as she tried to warm herself up. She had no real destination in mind even though she knew she should be heading home, but she allowed her feet to guide her as she moved through the streets. Before she realized where she was going, she found herself back in the graveyard, moving towards an empty grave.

The hurt started coming back with every step, each one seeming to shoot pain up her spine as she began to think once more of Sora and how he was never going to return.

"Even if he did," she muttered to herself, "I couldn't let him be my first kiss anymore." Kairi was grateful to Riku. He had had no qualms about stopping where they did, agreeing it was in both of their interests not to go any further than they had. She had never even been kissed before, and she didn't want to bypass everything in one night.

Looking up, she tried to find the familiar sight of Sora's headstone. She wanted to see it gain, maybe even fall asleep out here as she had done the two nights prior. Riku would be hurt, but she truly didn't care. Her heart and mind were being torn violently in two different directions.

As she neared the grave, she realized there was already someone there. The figure wore a dark black cloak tat made him nearly invisible in the low lighting of the graveyard. He stood staring down at the gravesite, not noticing Kairi approach. She could hear the man chuckling, but it was a sad and heartbroken tone. The figure turned in surprise as Kairi's foot crushed a twig underneath a tree, her anger and rage starting to overtake her.

_Who would Laugh at this? At Sora's death, at his grave?! This is my spot!_

"Who are you?" Kairi challenged, daring the figure to speak. The visage turned away, the dark making it impossible to discern any type of features hidden underneath the hood of his cloak.

"Someone who has given in to the dark," A familiar tone radiated from the cloack, but it seemed twisted and warn out. Kairi could still tell who it was though. She could never forget the sound of the voice.

"Sora?!"

* * *

_They were crying when their sons left_

_God is wearing black_

_He's gone so far to find no hope_

_He's never coming back_

_They were crying when their sons left_

_All young me must go_

_He's come so far to find no truth_

_He's never going home.

* * *

_

"I'm sorry, Kai…You weren't supposed to find me," the boy peeled off his hood, exposing the face beneath. His long messy hair had been cut short, a large scar cutting across his left cheek as well. One of his eyes was the same penetrating blue it had always been, but the other was blood red. Both his eyes reflected a hard heartedness she had never seen in them before.

"Sora, what happened?" She approached the boy with her hand outstretched to stroke the side of his face, but he stepped backing, looking towards the ground.

"I fell to darkness, Kai…I'm not even supposed to be here. I turned on and attacked Riku, but he defeated me. I told him to leave me and watch over you, and as a last request he swore he would. I even tried to take my own life, but I was to weak to even do that…" Sora closed his eyes and turned back to the headstone. "At least here I'm dead and remembered as I was…"

Kairi shooke her head fiercely as Sora turned back around to her. She stared into his eyes, a light shining forth that hadn't been present since the day she had received word of Sora's death. Seeing it, Sora smiled.

"There's the light. I'd forgotten where to look," Sora snapped his fingers and a dark cloud of smoke began to appear around his body, swallowing him up and disappearing, Sora missing as well. Kairi dove at the smoke, but grasped only air as she landed with a wet thud and skidded into his gravestone.

* * *

_Welcome to the Soldier Side_

_Where there's no one here but me_

_People al grow up to die_

_There is no one here but me.

* * *

_

Tears fell freely from Kairi's eyes once again as she heaved and sobbed, ignoring the wound that was bleeding on her back from the collision with the stone. He was alive, but he no longer cared for her. She couldn't take it. She tried to think of any way to end everything, a way to escape this wretched existence.

"If you forgot where to look why didn't you just ask for help you ass!" Kairi screamed at the top of her lungs, her voice shrill and cracking as her rage began to take over her once more.

Atop a nearby building, Sora listened to Kairi cry, but he didn't shed a single tear for the girl. He felt like the monster he was, because he knew worse than anything, that it wasn't that he hated Kairi or Riku. Hate was as powerful and passionate an emotion as love. What he felt was total indifference, the true opposition of love. He didn't care what happened to Kairi now, whether she lived or died. He was hollow, but he was alive.

"Goodbye, Kairi," Sora snapped his fingers again and disappeared. He didn't know his destination, all he knew was he would keep on living in this empty existence, never knowing how to care again.

Elsewhere, Riku sat aloe on the couch, his head in his hands. He knew in his heart right where Kairi had gone, he didn't need to go find her to prove that. He knew all along she could never care for him as she had Sora, and allowing himself to believe that this wasn't true only made the loneliness worse.

"Sora…why'd it have to turn out like this? Weren't you the one who followed your heart? I used to want to be you…"

* * *

_Welcome to the Soldier Side_

_Where there's no one here but me._

_People on the Soldier Side_

_There is no one here but me…_


End file.
